Married for ten years: Reasons I still love my husband. Too many of these have to do with poop.

I love you, Richie!

• Giver of orgasms. As many as I want.

Going Cold Turkey

Me: I want puppy chow.

Hubby: I’m giving up sweets. I’ll have granola bars instead from now on.

Me: Really? Good for you. I still want puppy chow.

Hubby: Yeah. I’m not giving up cold turkey, though. I like cold turkey. It’s good on sandwiches.

Dingle Berries for Breakfast. Ew.

I love that I did not walk into the kitchen to find this silly joke sitting on the table in the morning, only to laugh as I grabbed a bowl and spoon, and shake my head at what a silly man I married. That would be too close to living with a normal jokester.

No. I had to find this in picture form only. Where? While perusing through an album of super cute baby pictures from family members and friends who have recently spawned. This picture closed out the album, and I so did not put it there.

Before I  laughed, my brain had a wtf? moment. This is usually how I experience my husband’s sense of humor.

I Am One Sexy Goomba!

My husband is weird.

Like many people in love, hubby and I often call each other pet names. Now, when I hear other people do that, I want to gag. They sound so cheesy. But I engage in the practice myself. What can I say. I am a hypocrite.

But at least I use normal pet names, like ‘sweetheart,’ or, ‘honey.’

My husband comes up with the weirdest names for me. Some of them sound kind of . . . well, you’ll see. But when he says them, it is always in a super duper sugary voice so it still sounds sweet.

Here they are: