Look out, Arnold!
Our TV does this thing where it shows album art from our iTunes collection. I don’t know how, but it does. I think my technologically savvy spouse may have something to do with that.
Today, while sprawled on the squishy-ness that is my sofa, and trying to will myself to get the frack up and do something other than stare at an embarrassing display of Ashley Tisdale and Ashlee Simpson artwork (uh oh, I even know the proper way to spell the corresponding Ashley / Ashlee’s names, really must get the frack up), I saw a picture that disturbed me.
The name on the picture said, ‘Don Henley,’ but my guts knew that couldn’t be so. He was an impostor. A horrible man with something to hide.Who was he, really?
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The secret of happiness is to have low expectations. Wait. That’s not how the saying goes, is it?
All I know is that my dream started with wanting to live in an RV. The RV that was perfect for me (small, live-in, hubby could get up and walk and stretch his back while I drove) turned out to be one of the most expensive on the market — like, the same price as our house that will take us 33 years to pay off.
So what was next? I looked at used ones. Still way out there. Okay, maybe a different class? Buy a used van and MacGyver an RV with the hubby? He’s great at MacGyver-ing stuff! Then a trailer seemed the best way to go. Used. Used trailer…then pop-up (used, of course). Finally, through a series of events and discussions that I won’t bore you with, I made a decision.
Screw it. I’m buying a tent.
And so my adventures begin. Me, my tiny car, any time off of work that I can get, and the open road. (Hubby will wait until we move into the camper phase with heat and air conditioning before he joins me, though I may be able to convince him to join me for a long weekend if the mosquito population is low and the temp is between 68-72.)
I guess success came when I stopped worrying about everything and just focused on what I could do. I could afford a tent. I could take a week off of work. I could ask my dad to teach me how to camp on a trip during that week. I could take time off on my own instead of waiting for hubby’s weird work vacation schedule. I could do something I love that hubby hates. (Whole weird emotional issues of being a people-pleaser here. Hubby often reminds me that he loves me and wants me to be happy and that I should do what I want to do. For some reason, I tend to choose my actions based on what I think people around me want, however not-accurate that may be.)
And so, though I still dream of living on the road and though that dream seems far off, for now, I am doing what I can do.
What I did this week to work toward my RV dream:
This is no time for decision making or purchases. There is so much out there. There are so many possible paths.
I went RV shopping this morning and saw so many wonderful things. All were, of course, completely out of my price range – but everything will be because my price range right now is *free*. But looking is oh so helpful, stepping in, touching the material on the benches that will be beds, standing up and hitting or not hitting my head, checking out the length in person rather than in pictures.
What seems most likely to happen is that hubby and I will start with a camper trailer. Although, hubby is very handy and I am playing around with the idea of getting a van and converting it ourselves. Who knows. We are still in the earliest of stages.
The most amazing find of the week was this:
I found the story of someone who is basically living my dream, and so I will go to this website like it is an online mentor.
It feels like this dream could become a reality. I could make it happen. Maybe. I hate to say someday because of that song ‘Someday Never Comes.’ I guess that means I need to follow a serious and practical path of action to make this dream happen. My action right now – research. I am enjoying this stage of possibilities, shopping, pictures, and dreams.
(Below: Some fun, funky trailers I saw this morning.)
Have you ever seen ‘When Harry Met Sally’? Remember that part when Harry says something to the effect (affect?) of ‘when you finally realize how you want to spend the rest of your life, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.’? Well, I have had that moment.
Okay, more than a moment.
Pretty much a lifetime of knowing that this is what I want to do with my life but just figuring it could never be possible.
Then… a trip to the RV show last weekend and the realization that I must spend my life living in an RV, that it is a need, not a want. That need to wake up in a camper surrounded by open space… it gurgled, then bubbled, then boiled inside of me.
It’s like when I knit that six foot long scarf after I first learned how to knit. I am obsessed. I can’t think about anything else. I spend my nights shopping for RVs online until it is way pass my bed time, then regret it while working through my internet-shopping-hangover at work the next day.
What kind will I get? Pop-up? Trailer? Class B? Class C?
We could start selling everything we own now, then the house in a couple of years, get a used pop-up, and hit the road!!
Wait – what if hubby’s heart does that thing again and he needs an ICU stay? And what if we get stuck in mud in horrible weather and one of us has diarrhea and we went with the pop up instead of the class B or C because of affordability issues so bathrooms = no?
Who am I kidding? This dream could never happen!
Wait – it’s okay. Horrible things have happened with cement under our feet and we’ve handled it. I hope we can handle horrible things with wheels underneath.
Here is my goal: EVERY WEEK DO ONE THING TO HELP MAKE THIS DREAM POSSIBLE.
Okay. That’s a start.
Baby steps. Oh! Micro-movements! Yay! Those always make anything seem possible. I can’t remember who taught me those, Sark, or Julia Cameron (their awesome stuff overlaps a lot and I wonder if they took the same art class?).
What will I do this week?
Thoughts. I will think about positive examples, people who have done things like this with little money. Like that guy who traded a red paperclip for a house.
Photo credit: CricketTrailer.com
Do you ever get panic attacks? It is hard to tell people that you can’t do something because you know it will give you a panic attack. The older I get, the better I get at handling my panic attacks, mostly because I have so much practice and have learned how to better avoid things that I know will be triggers. I have only recently started just telling certain family members when I want to avoid something because I need to take good care of myself mental-health-wise rather than just finding some other excuse. Sometimes it has worked and they have been understanding. Other times, well, they just don’t get it.
For anyone who has ever traveled to Paris and misses it. For anyone who dreams of going to Paris in the future. It is the world’s city. A living, breathing museum.
I was just perusing Etsy, and looking at the above link sometimes moves me to tears. Will I ever get back to Paris and do my dreamed-about photo sessions with doors? Maybe, maybe not. But oh dear Lord, do I feel so amazingly happy that I was ever able to be there in the first place.