My underwear.

What is that hot pink thing on my ass? Oh. My. God. It’s my underwear.

 

How long has it been this way? It wasn’t like that when I got dressed this morning! I didn’t feel a draft walking from the waiting room to the exam room! How long?

 

I know it didn’t just happen.

 

The butt pocket of my favorite jeans, which pretty much covers an entire ass cheek, was flapping about willy-nilly, hanging on by a tiny segment of stitches in the lower right corner, and exposing the chromatically loud cotton barrier.

 

I thought all of that crazy embarrassing  stuff was supposed to be over after my high school years?

 

Oh well. At least the waiting room full of people will have an interesting story to tell their friends.

 

And at least I was wearing really cute underwear, that was not only hot pink, but had the phrase, ‘We have chemistry,’ written across the butt next to a picture of a beaker. Way better than my pair with the pineapples all over them.

 

English: Pineapple in heraldry Español: Piña e...

English: Pineapple in heraldry Español: Piña en la heráldica. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

If I go out to our yard in my underwear…

Bikini Beach Girl

Bikini Beach Girl (Photo credit: Wednesday Elf – Mountainside Crochet)

Conversation between me and Rich:

Me:Do you think bikinis are slutty? I mean, Target has them in the little girls section. Is that kind of pervy? Or do I just feel this way because I am jealous that I can’t pull one off?

Rich: Well, when you think about it, it’s kind of just like wearing your underwear out in public.

Me: I never thought of it that way before.

Rich: Yeah, I mean let’s take this example. If I go out to our yard in my underwear, the neighbor’s would just call the cops, right?

Me: Right.

Rich: But, if I go out in a Speedo and sit in a lawn chair, everything is cool.

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