I love you, Richie!
- Giver of orgasms. As many as I want.
- Carer of what I am thinking and feeling. You make me talk and express my feelings like a giant girl but it makes our relationship stronger and more fun.
- You talked to me through the bathroom door every time you knew I was pooping just because you knew it made me uncomfortable. You said you would keep doing it until I would feel comfortable. That took about nine years.
- My favorite memory of when we first met… I couldn’t poop at your place while we were dating. Okay, so we only dated a number of weeks before we got hitched, but still. I would stop at a Walgreen’s on the way to your apartment to use their bathroom, but you and I spent so much time together that I mostly had to hold stuff in and couldn’t go when I tried. By the time we were hitched and I moved in, I was so backed up. When I was unpacking my things in the bedroom, you were on the opposite side of the apartment in the kitchen. I farted. It was the smelliest fart ever in my history. I was super embarrassed and closed the door so the smell wouldn’t escape. Five minutes later you came into the room. The smell had traveled to the kitchen and you had to follow the source. You sniffed and said, “Was that you?” I blushed, nodded, and hid my face. Then looked up when you said, “Nice!” and you held out a hand for me to high-five.
- You pick my wedgies.
- You say, ‘Love you,’ so many times a day, and sometimes in a different way than those words (a verbal, ‘mwa,’ from across the couch, silly dances when you see me because you are so excited to see me, etc…)
- You help me follow my dreams.
- The quirky things about me that others find annoying, you think are adorable.
- That time I accidentally gave you a black eye and I felt so bad about it that you brought me flowers — because I felt so bad — even though I was the one who gave you a black eye.