Things I have done — accidentally of course — in the name of klutziness:
- Used hydro-cortisone cream as toothpaste.
- Sniffed eye drops. (Dude, that hurt. The eye drops sort of looked like my Afrin bottle. Afrin in the eyes would have been worse, right?)
- Elbowed my husband in the face. (I was just reaching for a pillow. Still, he totally got a black eye from that one.)
- Sat on a cream filled desert.
And I trip over thin air, but that happens several times a day. It doesn’t get a special bullet point.
Running into doors and walls are a daily occurrence. Frack, even open doorways, which seem to be obstacle free open pathways, are still dangerous. Because I just walk into the door frame. Which is usually at least less painful than miss judging the amount of force needed to pull a door open and whacking myself in the head.
No one is safe around me. My husband ends up with as many injuries as I do as a result of my unfortunate disposition. He has just taken to saying, ‘Love hurts,’ whenever I maim him is some way.
To klutzes! Cheers.
I am pretty sure klutziness is genetic and also that I get it from my dad. Who, like me, falls over while just standing there.
But here is why my dad is awesome. He tripped a few weeks ago, while walking on a straight, paved pathway. He was holding his granddaughter as he walked, and thus also when he tripped.
He had just enough time to put his body between the ground and his 18 month old granddaughter before eating pavement, so that she was perfectly fine. Not a scratch. My dad, however, was pretty banged up. Don’t worry, he is okay now. My dad is fracking awesome.
What chocolate eclairs look like after they have been sat on, and a friend takes a picture and texts it to you to make fun of you, and your hubby takes it off of your old phone and emails it to you because you say, ‘Hey, sugar nipples, can you take a pic off of my old phone? The one Tim texted to me after I sat on the pastries that were on the seat of the car when I was in his driveway? Thanks!’
- Please Be Kind to the Klutzes in Your Life! (slimegreen.me)