The Next Big Thing Blog Hop

This is a Hop. A Blog Hop.

Inspired from ‘Write on the World,’ who shared some answers to the following questions, and I will do the same.

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  • What is the working title of your book?

I have always wanted to write a book called ‘Chocolate for Breakfast in the Middle of the Day.’ Long, I know. But doesn’t that just sound like the most wonderful thing ever? And I love wonderful things.

But I can not see how this title could possibly fit the novel I am currently working on. I think I will wait until I finish writing my book, then pick my favorite line and call it that. I love reading a book, and getting to the very last line, and that last line is the title. Maybe I will just make whatever happens to be the last line my title. Awesome.

  • Were did the idea come from for the book?

Unfortunately, personal experience. I’ll get to that in a bit.

  • What genre does your book come under?

I always wanted to write a fun, chick lit novel, with cute English characters who have names like, ‘Poppy.’ But that will have to happen another time. Because what I want to do is so very different than what is in me to do.

“But this is the story that is demanding to be written. It’s not my choice to make,” wrote Mandy from ‘Write on the World” in a recent post about one of her projects. So true.

My book is looking like it will be a mystery, with some drama, and romance. Is there a category for that combo? I

  • What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

A woman who finally finds true love, is haunted by sexual memories from her childhood and every relationship in her life is challenged.

  • Is your book self-published, published by an independent publisher, or represented by an agency?

Oh my gosh, if I actually ever finish the thing, I am totally going to self publish in e-book form. I can’t take all of the rejection the other venues demand! I am fragile!

  • How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

I have been working on it for one year, have 64 pages done, and of course I have tons of things I want to change in those ‘done’ pages! There is still a long way to go (about 200 more pages).

  • Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Okay people, here are the guts.

This is very hard for me to get into.

I have been wanting to write about this for a while, and this blog hop seems like a good opportunity to bring it up.

When I was 4 years old, some odd things happened to me. That involved having sex in a closet in my parents home, several times, over a period of about a year.

As you can guess, this majorly screwed me up and made relationships and trust  challenging issues in my life.

This book is a chance for me to explore so much of what I went through. Like, do I remember accurately what really happened? What happened to the little boy who was involved, and from where, or from whom, did he learn to do what he did? And what he taught me to do with him? (He was just a kid, too.)

Also, I am exploring things like some anger I have towards my mother, who would watch neighborhood kids some days, and end up with 10 or 12 kids in the house, unable to watch all of them close enough. (Because she had a hard time saying ‘no’ to other parents.)

I am writing this book as  a piece of fiction, and I am hoping I can work through some real things that I went through along the way.

I have had some pages workshop-ed in writing groups, and one response that hit me the hardest was someone saying, ‘yeah, but kids do such weird stuff all of the time.’ Like it wasn’t a big deal. This hurt me, because  yes, the boy was just a kid, too. But we are not talking about playing doctor, and ‘heehee, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.’  We are talking about a four-year-old boy shoving his tiny penis inside a four-year-old girls vagina with his fingers, and teaching her how to french kiss, and doing this several times in a closet, the girl not knowing anything about what sex is, and just thinking it is a normal game that kids play, not learning until years later what was actually going on.

So, it is not a molestation case that is usually talked about. The boy obviously learned this from somewhere. I always wanted to confront him when I became an adult, and ask him what he remembers, and about any other experiences he had, like maybe there was an adult who hurt him? But I lost my chance because he died in the war. He left behind a pregnant girlfriend, and part of me felt like I should warn that woman to look out for shady family friends or relatives with whom she may leave that child alone.

In the book, the main character, Liz, falls in love, as I did with my husband, and has terrible sexual experiences because of these horrible flashbacks she gets every time they are intimate.

I am sorry to write this, but it is what happened and what I had to work through. And my husband is a patient, loving saint for helping me.

Liz, like me, never had sex again until she was married. On her wedding night she vomits the first time her husband’s flesh brushes her inner thigh, and the story begins.

I didn’t puke on my wedding night, but I felt like I would. That is the nice thing about working through this stuff by fictionalizing it. I can go to places I feel like I need to on a literary level, to help me work through things and try to heal even more than I already have.

In my real life, I can say that it took years of hard mental work for me to be able to really enjoy sex. I never realized the huge effect my childhood memories had on me. I thought I was waiting for marriage to have sex (even though, before I met my husband, I was one of those people who said they would never get married). But really, I was subconsciously avoiding having to face pain from my past by never getting romantically involved with anyone, ever.

Of course, when I met hubby, I didn’t want to avoid true love (like the kind that can save you in the Fire Swamp). And his help was amazing in my healing.

Whew. Okay, let’s get a little less serious now.

  • What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

Three things:  hypnotherapy, scuba diving, and hot air balloons.

  • Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

Hmmm. I’m going to have to think about this one.

Thank you for reading. I hope that I did not disturb you too much. And I hope to be back to writing about Packman mugs and couscous soon.

P.S. Here are some folks I’d like to invite to take the hop! Please do not feel obligated, this is strictly an only-if-you-want-to thing.

The fabulous ladies of “Falling for Fiction.” Just answer the above questions and let us learn a little about your projects!

If anyone else would like to do this, just send your link in a comment, and we’ll check out your answers on your blog.

(Below are some other people who have done this hop. And a few other things.)

13 thoughts on “The Next Big Thing Blog Hop

    • Yes, I have been thinking about that lately. I also wonder, he attended a catholic school, where one of the priests left sort of hush hush and I wonder if any kind of molestation happened there. I guess I’ll never know for sure where he learned what he did. But at least the above is a starting point.

      • Yeah, those guys have been like foxes in a henhouse they own for too long. I’ll stop there! No point scaring you with my rants. I was raised Catholic and did the all-girls school route with the nuns and all…
        I think it’ll be a mystery, since the boy/man died in war and all. The best you can do is warn her, just in case it’s a relative or something like that. What makes me think that it was a longer process than some molesting priest or the boy chancing on seeing a dirty movie is that you said there was french kissing. I didn’t kiss a boy until I was 13, and it was something I needed to practice to get good at. Maybe he was different, I don’t know.
        But I do know that protecting a little one from the same thing happening to them will help you heal somehow. Then you are a protector, a warrior. You’re brave enough to talk about it!
        Sorry to say all this, after all we kind of just met 🙂

  1. You are so awesome, and brave, and I can’t wait to read your novel when it comes out! The 64 pages you have so far are very powerful, and I believe you’re writing about something that needs to be brought to light. It happens way more often than people might think.

  2. You are so brave, and I’m glad you have your novel to help work out your feelings. Your book comes from your heart and soul, so the 64 pages you have are great, and your finished product will be amazing. Best of luck to you! (Also, yay for having such a supporting husband!)

  3. Such a terrible thing to happen. Mind boggling, really, on so many levels. I’m so glad that you have writing as an outlet to sort through things, as well as a husband who supports and encourages your journey. Who knows how many other people you will help along the way.

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