Turtlenecks are Slutty


I would like to hear from someone who truly loves turtlenecks. Who thinks for fashion reasons they are beautiful. Or someone who loves them because they live in a cold climate and enjoy crouching their chin in an allowable shirt to feel cozy and warm up a bit, to snuggle with one’s self.

But let’s be honest with each other.

We all know what you are hiding.

The worst culprit is a sleeveless turtleneck. Are you hot? No. Are you cold? No. You are totally hiding hickeys. And everyone who sees you is thinking it!

I say, walk proudly in the empowering garment. Own it.

And if you lock eyes with someone staring at you, and you know they are just wondering how many hickeys you have, you just think to yourself, ‘Yeah. You wish you had as many hickeys as me.’

8 thoughts on “Turtlenecks are Slutty

    • Yes! That’s right. Way to own it. And enjoy that slutty time! After all, that’s what leads to all of us being born. Some people call it the miracle of life, but then act all ashamed about how we get to that miracle! I say, enjoy it and be proud.

  1. LOL!!!! This is hilarious and SO true. The sleeveless turtleneck is a joke, a dead give away that they were slutting it up the night before. HAHAHAHA!

  2. Oh, I so need to ask my best friends permission to use a picture of her that we found the other day while reminiscing.I could write a similar post, and link it to you. ( Probably won’t happen though. I’m lazy, and won’t really ask her for picture. FYI) It was a pic of her at Disneyland, sweltering heat, with her dad and boyfriend. I asked her why she was wearing ‘that god awful’ sleeveless green and white striped turtleneck with her high wasted acid wash jean shorts……… She replied “remember, that was when Bernard (not his real name) was in his hickey stage, and I was covered. My dad would have killed me!” – So this post is AWESOME! Her neck definitely wasn’t cold. Her neck was a hussy! Loving your blog by the way. I read it on my phone a lot when it comes through my email. I don’t always comment, but every post is pretty hilarious.

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